Saturday, August 27, 2011

Centered

And once again, here I am trying to resurrect What’s Shakin’. The reason behind my being inconsistent in writing eludes me. I start with great intentions. A friend of mine, I can go so far as to call him a spiritual mentor, once said that journaling is about capturing the essence of life, which was the intent behind this in the first place. He also said that it is something that is done rather inconsistently. Then again, he said it’s something that one does once every few days, not once every few months. Well, there goes that excuse.


A few months are quite a bit of time to stay away from the writing. It’s too enjoyable a thing for me to not do it. As much as I love when I can put coherent words on paper (well the screen… a word document does look like a sheet of paper, though), something in me just gets enamored by everything else that the computer has to offer. And this is the downside of modern technology. Either that or it’s out of sheer laziness. The jury’s out on that.

Another reason I could have been gone so long is I have, unfortunately, been struggling with the depression, lately. Between the PD, being stuck at home, not being able to work, and recently separating with the wife, it’s been hard dealing with such. Depression, difficult as it is to overcome, is only temporary. Once we get inertia moving for us, it’s possible to get past what gets us down and move forward.

The idea of inertia in our lives comes from a dear friend of mine. The theory of inertia, as we learned in science class, and most of us tend to store away to not even consider, is an object in motion tends to stay in motion. Conversely, an object at rest tends to stay at rest. I know a good majority of us forget about this theory, since I’m always seeing commercials about the seat belt laws. If everyone remembered that if their car stops suddenly, that they won’t, then everyone would wear a seat belt.

This same theory, according to my friend, applies to life, as well. A life in motion tends to stay in motion. The problem a good many of us face, including yours truly, is we will let our lives stall, and a life at rest tends to stay at rest. Letting myself stay motionless for too long enabled me to sink into depression. Inertia kept my life at rest, and I needed a swift kick in the ass, via this same dear friend, to get myself moving again.

Such as it is how important are the people in our lives? Do we ever stop to consider the effect the people with whom we surround ourselves can have on us? Some are life giving, others are poison. The other thing I had to do to break inertia was to remove those in my life who were poison, and embrace those who are life giving. This is not the easiest thing in the world to do, since we tend to love even those who often bring us down.

Fact is we tend to move through life like ants. We search and search, here and there, front back and sideways, always looking for that perfect piece to add to our lives that will make us whole. This is the most difficult thing to find. In my humble opinion, the first piece to that puzzle is faith. The second piece is to surround ourselves with the right people.

Instead, we settle. We forget faith, and we surround ourselves with people who are good enough, but not what we need. The thing is, through faith, we will automatically be surrounded by people whose eyes can pierce our souls, whose laughs can break the worst of melancholy, whose lights can pierce even the deepest of darkness. What we will find are dragon slayers.

A mythologist, Joseph Campbell, once gave an interview where he described the symbolism of the European dragon. He summarily spoke of the European dragon as “something that guards.” This is like the dragon we read about in The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. This particular dragon, like many others in European mythology, is guarding a vast treasure, gold upon gold; enough to make everyone in the company of Bilbo Baggins extraordinarily wealthy. In order to get to that gold, however, the first task for the company was to slay that dragon. Only then, could they attain the riches therein.

Mr. Campbell takes that a step further. He likens the dragon to the ego, and likens the person to the vast treasure. The dragon guards us, frightens us into letting our lives be at a standstill. We cannot break free and find the treasure that our lives have to hold until the dragon is slain. (a)

I’ll take that one step further and liken the dragon not to the ego, but to the Enemy. Satan, a Hebrew word meaning accuser, is always working at us. He whispers to us that we aren’t deserving of living life to the fullest. He taunts us with feelings that we are unworthy of being loved for one reason or another. Is it a wonder that in the book of Revelation Satan is symbolized as a dragon? So, if Satan is the dragon that holds us back, then it is by faith in Christ that the dragon is slain.

Because, I reiterate, through faith, we find people who hold us up and give us life. Through those people, Christ slays that dragon, which pins us down. With these other faithful people by our sides, so long as we continue to hold to our faith, then it is difficult for another dragon to steal us away, put us in a cave, and hoard our lives. These people help us to let ourselves live. They encourage. These friends help us to find a quiet place, through which to let our lives flow.

This can also be known as centering. When we center, we can deal with anything and everything that life throws at us. From the mundane tasks of living, to the greatest of trials, these things bounce off with hardly an effect. Centered, we can even find joy in our afflictions. This is because through these afflictions, we gain perseverance.

When I say joy in our afflictions, I’m not talking about being happy with the circumstances. No one in their right mind can be happy when dealing with things like PD, MS, fribomyalgia, or any other chronic illness. It’s insane to think that one can find elation in the death of a loved one, or in persecution. What fool jumps up and down at being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused? No one wants to cry from the rooftops that their father or mother is an irate, raging alcoholic and/ or drug addict. Hell, to be more mundane and everyday, we all get upset at even the notification of an unexpected bill.

I’m sorry to say, but having faith in Christ will not make stuff like this disappear. But that faith does, like I said before, help us to persevere. There’s one problem; who wants to persevere? If God isn’t taking this stuff away, then what good is he?

The thing about perseverance is this: it isn’t merely enduring. When we persevere, that’s when the crap of life can bounce off of us without damage. That is when we’re free to get on with our lives, despite what’s happened before or what’s happening now. These things don’t have to affect our future. That’s wide open. Being able to persevere helps us to see the obstacles of life as things that we can think around. When we are able to do such, our creativity flows, and we can, regardless of how hard something is, let that creativity flow from our center.

When I think of creativity flowing from my center, I think of writing. Often times, once my fingers start caressing the keyboard, I go into an almost trancelike state. I am aware of the words I am using, yet I’m not. Are you confused yet? Let me try again. It’s like my brain is aware of things like sentence structure, spelling, and usage, yet I often have no idea of what it is I have written until I have finished writing. Only then, can I go back through and review the words I have put down. They flow out of me from some spot deep within, into which the clacking of the keys can tap.

That sound isn’t the only thing that can tap into that spot. By prayer and by meditation and by contemplation that quiet place, that center is found. It all starts with a spiritual discipline, something else at which I’m inconsistent, called lectio divina. This puts my earlier sentence in reverse order.

Lectio divina is a discipline that starts with reading. I read a short passage, over and over, until something stands out. Once something stands out, I read that part of the passage over and over until it’s ingrained. Once it feels right, I put down my bible and continue to contemplate that which stood out in the reading. Contemplation becomes meditation; meditation turns into prayer on its own. This is where I find center apart from my writing. When I find center in this fashion, it becomes faith, which, in turn, becomes perseverance. At that point, I know without a doubt that all is well, even with the troubles of life.

This is when I can find joy in affliction. The joy is not about being happy I have PD. This causes me to struggle with way too many things to be happy about it. No, the joy is that, regardless, I am okay. There is something better than this.

Who am I that I should not have to suffer? Christ Jesus said, “A servant is not greater than his master.” (b)Even he, the only son of God, who was himself divine, suffered at the hands of men, and died a death in the cruelest form of execution that man has ever conceived. So, if Christ endured such suffering, should I not have to suffer if I mean to follow? And looking at it this way, if I am afflicted while following him who suffered greater than anyone, is there a greater joy?

a.The Power of Myth: Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers [film] 2007 [Insane Films]


b.John 15:20 (NIV)